You Know You're From Missouri...

Things I've learned from living in Missouri.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Missouri.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Missouri, plus a couple no one's seen before.
Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks --if it crawls; it bites.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
"Fixinto" is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals... and you start drinking it when you're 2.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
More about Missourians.... You know you're from Missouri if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the > same day.
3. You know what a mule is.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. 7. You install security lights on your house and garage .... and leave both of them unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, B B Q and ketchup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season and the first day of trout fishing are national holidays.
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." 1
4. You know all four seasons: Almost summer -- Summer -- Still summer --, and Christmas. 15. You know whether another Missourian is from east, west, or middle Missouri as soon as they open their mouth, or by the barbecue they eat.
16. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pass time (known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World.")
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
18. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
19. You know what the phrase "Hunkered Down" means.
20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from MO and those who just wish they were. "A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked

Public Relations Tour

Yesterday, my co-workers and I went on a public relations tour of area hotels and resorts that we use. We also had lunch at McFarlain's restaurant. We had a great time!

Christmas 2005 Update

Well friends, it has been awhile since I have posted anything on here. I guess I had a lost interest or just got too busy over the holidays. anyway...
My last day of work for 2005 was December 17. That weekend I drove to KS and spent a few days with friends there. As always, we had a great time. Sun morning, Dec 19, we awakened to a fresh new blanket of snow on the ground. It just made everything seem a little more like Christmas. On Dec 22, I made my way through the winding roads of southern Missouri and northern Arkansas to middle TN to visit my parents and other family members. I had a pleasant 8 1/2 hour trip and arrived that afternoon. My nephews and niece were excited to see me and couldn't wait to show me everything new that had taken place since my last visit. One of those new things was a passal of puppies. They were already several weeks old, had their eyes open and were running around. The mother of these puppies, however, is part devil, I think. She is a beagle/rat terrior mix, with a hint of demon. Vicious. Evil. Hostile. I don't think she could have really hurt us too badly since we armed ourselves with a rake, broom, and a stick before making our way to the kennel. As we approached ever so cautiously, the mother tried to attack, but in vain. As I tried to keep her snarling jowls at bay, Darren and Missy discovered one of the puppies lying lifeless away from the group. My mom was there and took the puppy inside to try to bring it back to life. After a couple of days, Lazarus, as I call him, was up and running around, playing with the rug in the kitchen and just being a normal puppy again. It's amazing how quickly he recovered from the grip of death. He has become a favorite at the homeplace and I'm sure will be around as part of the family for years to come.
I had a great visit while in TN. It was wonderful being with all the family for Christmas once more. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and an awesome New Year!

Dino - "Somewhere In Christmastime"

Last night I was priviledged to attend Dino's Christmas show here in Branson. I had perfect seating (5th row, left center), with an awesome view of the keyboard on his Austrian-crystal-plate piano. He has a million dollars invested in this show. The music, choreography, costumes, etc are spectactular! I believe it to be one of the best, if not the best show in Branson this time of year. Visit his website www.dinoplayspiano.com.

Hospital Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

A Thanksgiving Poem

A Thanksgiving Poem

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned--the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and mashed potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of ice cream and a handful of pie.
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees,
"Happy eating to all .. pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n' gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs."

Highway Cleanup

Today, I joined several of my co-workers in cleaning up our company's adopted mile of the highway. I never knew a person could have fun picking up trash.

Ozark Bird Dogs

$50 Christmas Tree

Yesterday afternoon, here at work, they had a contest. We each had to take an 8"x12" piece of green paper, hold it behind our backs and rip it into the shape of a Christmas tree. Surprisingly, mine turned out the best, and I won a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. Some of the others' looked more like deformed maple leaves. It was fun.

Only in Branson...

I just got back from a quick ice cream run to McDonald's where I spotted this hideous vehicle in the parking lot. I can't imagine being seen in something like this.

Family

A co-worker of mine sent this to me. Thought I would share...

F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the! blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?

A Thought for the Day

Some people are like slinkies --
not really good for anything
but they bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Branson Convention Center

Branson Mayor Lou Schaefer, center, shakes hands Tuesday with Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel Manager Mark Hartman after they and several other officials broke ground on a 220,000-square foot, $50 million convention center. BDN photo by Cliff Sain (taken from Branson Daily News)

This is a part of the $300 million master-planned project that will be known as Branson Landing.

FSCH Alumni Banquet

Over the weekend, I journeyed to Fort Scott, KS to attend the Fort Scott Christian Heights Alumni banquet. I had been asked to sing a special song. I sang "My Life Is in Your Hands". It is a beautiful song written and performed by Kathy Troccoli. Courtney and her sister, Marla, sang a special titled "Born To Serve the Lord" (see photo). It was a pleasant evening. It was was also nice to visit friends in the area while there.

Dixie Stampede

Last night 16 of my co-workers and myself attended the Dixie Stampede dinner and show. As usual, it was awesome! Each person was given the pleasure of eating a whole, roasted cornish hen, corn on the cob, broccoli soup, potato wedge, barbecue pork, and an apple turner all with our bare hands. It was delicious! We sat on the north side with all the tour buses, which I think, made us lose in the tournaments. Oh well.... there's always next time.

Hokey Pokey

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started.Shut up. You know it's funny.

A Knight's Tale

For the past 5 years I was in charge of the decorations at the annual benefit, "Country Store", for Fort Scott Christian Heights. I recently found these photos of our medieval theme 3 years ago. I hope you enjoy them. My committee and I had much fun getting everything ready.

Pink Day

Today is "Pink Day" here at Branson Getaways. I have never owned anything pink in my life. So, last night I made a mad dash to the outlet mall to see what I could find, cheap. I made my way around to several stores, such as Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, Eddie Bauer, and at last, Old Navy, where I found the shirt. I am actually enjoying wearing it.

Michael English Concert

This past Saturday evening I was privileged to see Michael English in concert at the Calvary Baptist Church in Joplin, Missouri. He finished the concert with "I Bowed on My Knees and Cried Holy!" It was awesome! A southern gospel group, Signature Quartet, was also there. They did an excellent job as well.

Weight Problem?

" We all get heavier as we get older because, there's a lot more information in our heads."